The L Word

It's been rough.

I feel like I'm in the episode of The L Word where Alice makes the lesbian web connection of who everyone has slept with...It's kinda crazy right now. I'm in love with her but she's in love with another who is in love with another who is moving to California to meet her gf for the first time...MY LIFE.

But really...is it that bad?

No.

And that's what I have to keep reminding myself. IT'S NOT THAT BAD. Things could always be worse. And they can always get better. Look at the bright side, the silver lining as they say. I guess I just have to keep my head above water right now.

song of the day?

Anna Nalick: Breathe

I am a Lion

I will not be an old lady lying on my death bed saying that I wish I had a full back tattoo of rainbows and peacocks dancing under the moon. I will not be that lady saying I wish I colored my hair a million colors of crazy reds and golds and blues that drew the attention of every eye in the room because I was crazy enough to bend the social norm. I will not be wishing I had traveled the world; to the rolling hills of Ireland or the jungles of Africa. And I will definitely not be lying at deaths door regretting that I didn't marry the girl I loved because the world told me I couldn't. I will be that old lady happy with the good and the bad, the love and the losses, the experiences and the feeling that I was lucky enough to be a part of it. I do not care for what society thinks, I have lived once and I do not care. I will have my bad days and my good days because after all I am human and of this life I cannot fathom what we are here for. For the better and the worse I will experience it all. I am the power and the one to be in charge of me. And as in the words of Counting Crows: I am a child of fire, I a am a lion, I have desires and I was born inside the sun this morning.

How Do You Show Your Pain?

Some show their pain with a swipe at the wrist,
While others prefer a throw of the fist.
Some show their pain with an empty bottle,
While others prefer to hit the road full throttle.
Some show their pain with a puff and a drag,
While others prefer to bitch and nag.
Some show their pain with fun from a whore,
While others prefer to eat more and more.

But others? Others like me?
I prefer the company of an old oak tree
Under which I write words and melody
That make me feel unburdened and free.
That is how i show my pain,
By writing it out again and again.
Some find writing to be mundane,
For me its shows my hurt, but more humane.

And you? I only have one simple favor to ask,
Don't show your pain with a silent fast;
Don't show it with a tilted flask;
But please don't hide your pain behind a mask.

Show the world and teach it too,
To control the pain that burdens you.
Become someone completely new
Who has something to hold onto.