I'm OK

"I'm OK"

The words slip out of my mouth; dripping with lies and deceit.

"No."

Was her response. Of course she knew. Kayla knew everything. About me, anyway. She knew that my unseasonably long jeans hid scars and bruises from the cruel world. She knew that my mind played tricks on me; making me believe everyone hated me or I am unloveable. And, of course, she knew that I loved her. Even though she didn't love me back.

"But I will be."

I whispered, itching the newest healing cut on my leg. Watching me, she quickly grabbed my leg and shoved my jeans up, revealing the cut.

"You fucking promised!"

She scolded with a tear welling up in her eye. I did. I promised I would stop. But it wasn't that easy! Telling a cutter to stop was like telling a smoker to stop. Cold turkey just doesn't work.

"I know..."

"Kat...Seriously...I care about you too much for you to do this shit to yourself,"

She always said that she cared about me...but she could never love me. She loved someone else. I thought it was crazy but she had a dream. A dream to follow her lover to Australia and be happy together forever. She knew it would take her up to three years to be reunited with this mystery woman...but it didn't matter to Kayla. She told me that "when you know, you know". Well, with Kayla, I knew. It just sucked that she didn't love me back.